help! my boyfriend is a snoop!
Ok, so I admit that maybe I was being secretive about what I was supposed to be up to last night, only because the mere fact that I was talking to this person would have started a catastrophic meltdown and the earth would have imploded! But I did the right thing and listened to my inner voice (damn you!). My little Jimminy Cricket was constantly talking in my ear so of course I had to listen to it.
So here is the situation, my ex wanted to hang out and I said sure, but was trying not to talk to my bf about it for fear of the end of the world. Besides, we’ve been together for almost two years and my ex is engaged. We’re good friends, like countless other ex’s I have. Anyway, my inner voice ate my at my brain until only the part that told me how guilty I would feel if I met up with him was left, and I cancelled.
I was with Ahamtrying, taking her to get her report card (yeah 92% on your final!!!), and then dropping her off at home when I decided to cancel, then immediately drove to Prince Charming’s place to make him dinner.
Yes I admit, probably wasn’t a good situation from the get go but I felt the guilt build up and made the right decision.
So this morning I get a call at work at 7:45am…thats right, I’m writting my blog at work. Its Prince (not so) Charming asking me what I’m doing for lunch and telling me that we need to talk. Um…what?? He works in Poco and I work in Langley…I have a 30min lunch which is usually spent driving to get something to eat. How are we supposed to go for lunch!? And what the hell do we need to talk about?
Well…and keep in mind I’m at fucking work…he explains that he can’t work today because he’s supposed to be up at 35feet and he’s all shaky from thinkin about whatever it is we have to talk about. Then he asks me if I’m still talking to my ex, and I respond yes when he messages me. I can’t lie to him. Then he asks me where I was last night, I tell him with Ahamtrying and he doesn’t believe me. “So you weren’t with (the ex)?” No, I say, he wanted to hang out but I told him no. Then he gets into it about why I can’t tell him these things and I’m like DUDE…because you freak out when I so much as talk to people!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHINHIDANIGORHNIOAGDNKLA!!!
Then I think to myself…ok hang on…how the fuck did you even know? Where did you get this info? Well for one you don’t have a computer so there is no way you could have hacked into my facebook, email, blog whatever…plus I always delete stupid emails like comment notification from my blog, and facebook emaills cuz lets face it, there are like a million in a day bogging up my email. Also, you’re not computer savvy…so any chance that you could get onto a computer doesn’t mean you can get into my shit. So there is only one more option…you go through my phone, because I get text messages and my emails sent to my blackberry…well…arn’t you crafty. Wait till I go to sleep then snoop snoop snoop all over my shit. WHAT IS THIS!?!
I’ve never once even had an urge to get my nose all up in your shit and here you are like a cat in the night, going through all my stuff so you have amo!?! NO no no no no no! What the fuck!?!
So he’s coming home from work today because he just can’t deal with it. *rolls eyes*
Does that mean I get a day off too?? No…
Anyway, I’m just pissed that my boyfriend, Prince (not so) Charming, snoops on me. I’ve never once snooped on him, not fucking once!!! It’s not cool…it’s not right, and fuck if I felt I needed to snoop on him then the relationship should be over either because he has something to hide or because I have a problem with invading his privacy and thats my own issue to deal with.
This is the second time he’s done this to me and quite frankly, the last. I’ve changed my passwords and erased every stitch of text messages and emails that come to my phone…LAME.
It’s as though he can’t function without knowing my every move, everyone I’m talking to, and EVERYTHING I’m thinking. He wants me to tell him eeeeeeeeeeeeverything. But then where is my individuality? Where is my “me time” and ya know what, he doesn’t need to know everything and I don’t have to tell him everything. He’s raged on me before about talking to my friends about us, or him, or our relationship. He said it’s our relationship and I shouldn’t be talking to anyone about it other than him. WELL FUCK! What are my friends for? And what am I supposed to do just sit at home and cry and talk to myself??? I need to talk things out and who better than your friends for that? UGH! I feel like he’s trying to contain me…and now I’m really pissed off. Basically I’m not allowed to talk to anyone from my past although half my friends are ex’s or friends I’ve made because of ex’s, because it makes him jealous; I’m not allowed to talk to my own friends about anything, and I have to tell him everything. FUCK THAT NOISE!
Ugh..
Any advice from those who have been here, or who can relate, or can somehow help me solve this situation would be greatly appreciated.
keeks said,
June 10, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Straight up; it’s time to tell him to grow up and get over himself. This isn’t highschool and theres no reason to be super jealous over Jose making the baseball team; HES FROM THE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC FOR CHRIST SAKES !!!!
<3
fedupalso said,
December 4, 2010 at 10:12 am
I have the same situation. We are not actually together right now but my Prince-Not-So-Charming is the same way. I maintained a casual friendship with an ex-coworker and it’s driving him insane and he hacked into all my accounts and pulled phone records for the last year. There were maybe 6 or 7 calls in call. But he is crazy over it. Partly because I didn’t tell him. Understandable due to his reactions over changes in even the outside temperature. I’m not sure if these relationships are worth working out. I do not think that there is jealousy in true love. I cannot give a good solution. I am in the same boat as far as trying to figure out if it is time to cut and run or stick it out. Best of luck to you.
Jessica Ann-Marie said,
January 24, 2011 at 8:37 am
I agree tell him to grow the hell up. I just heard from someone that my bf admitted to snooping on my phone when i fall asleep. We’ve been together for over 4 years. Makes yah wonder how long he’s really been doing it. BUT idk what to do about it. I wanna find a way to make sure it wasnt just a rumor that he said it. but either way I think its wrong and you need to tell him that he needs to stop. Trust is a big issue and you decided to do the right thing.